heres another picture from last sunday's swapmeet-

i have a brainfreeze from eating my soy icecream too fast. now the pain is travelling into my shoulder.

i made a skirt out of a tablecloth today, and im making a hat out of some purple-y yarns just to have to wear,though im not enjoying making it so much. ive been really out of things to do, but trying so hard to find things to be inspired by. i watched peewee herman shows today, ive been trying to get back into my regular swing (watching discovery channel while crocheting or working on something by hand) but since allowing myself to spend more time on the computer doing things like downloading new music, and being okay with sitting and laying and thinking and other things that i might not have considered productive by my own standards, i just cant think of anything to do. ive made so many things, and it suprises me even that i dont have anything next in line to make, but i need nothing and i havent been inspired by anything,either. its bothersome, its not my style.

today i forgot that i had anything to drink last night and woke up feeling rotten all over. a few minutes later i realized i was hungover, and quickly set in all of the questions that come to mind after a night of drinking
"did i eat too much when i came home last night?"
"did i look good?"
"please god, i hope i didnt have a cigarette!"
"was there anything that bothered me last night, or anything that i should/could feel bad about now?"

the answer to the last question is debatable,though all of the preceeding questions came out favorably.

in short, im exhausted by the angry, inaccurate, unfair and untruthful email alerts i got this morning and last night concerning the flatsound conflict, and i do feel like i was out of place trying to say anything about it when it was something between mitch and bryan, but if anything other than kissing had gone down between mitch and i,dont you think id have some std's to show for it? juuuuust sayin.

also, i saw bryan yesterday evening and it went well, but im a little confused about how things ended.we talked well, though, we interracted naturally within a few minutes of being around one another. i was still embarassed about my clumsiness in conversations and situations in public, but i was quite drunk and i forgive myself for that. i think he does,too. and i hope that he enjoyed seeing me as much as i did him.

i want to go for a walk, but i like waiting until its cooler outside. its summertime, and ive been hearing alot about excitement for the season change from my friends, but i look at the seasons, especially summer, as turning points for my depressions,hang-ups, and a starting line for breakthroughs and new ideas. thats okay, no pressure,mother nature.

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