as long as there are stars above you

generally, i find it to be pretty silly and shallow to be a woman to just doesnt like other women because it's so transparent and obviously a competitive thing, but there is one breed of woman (and i suppose there is a male equivalent to this that doesnt nearly irritate me as much) who just makes me want to claw her eyes out. it's the "mama bears". i just think that women who find themselves in situations where they're surrounded by men or younger, less experienced women and proceed to take control of all household chores and enjoy lecturing others/offering up their halfwit "pearls of wisdom" which are mostly based on cliches that theyve overheard other adults say their whole lives are just the lowest, creepiest, most un-liberated people. the term "my boys", when used in a sentence like "making lasagna for my boys" or "these boys just can't do anything on their own" makes my skin crawl. BUT, since this move ive had several situations where ive had to remind myself that i will, under no circumstance, clean or tidy up for anybody other than myself. even if leaving cute notes for my roommates or folding laundry or excessively scouring the bathroom gets me a little more authority over my living situation, i just can't let myself be that "mama bear". even if it makes my life easier, because my time is worth more than that and i'm worth a lot more than "the maid" or "mom". it's been truly terrible to be here with these dudes sometimes, they sleep till 11 and never say thank you, they don't do any chores, they leave the garage door open all night or day and leave the front door unlocked when they go to bed (who does that!?), they leave the fans on all night long and instead of opening a window (which i assure you would work just as well) they turn on the a/c.. but i refuse to get anyone to do anything for me by selling my sex appeal or guilt-tripping someone into doing something by applying some faux-maternal attitude.

there was an incident last week where i believed there to be a ghost in the house- i'd come home really late from work and one roommate was asleep, the other in seattle. upstairs, the lights were on and some mainstream r+b was playing and i assumed we'd gotten a new roommate..but then in the morning nobody was there. was it an intruder? a ghoul? i haven't ouija-d in my new place yet, though you'd better believe that was the first thing i packed into my car.


it's been a little less than a month and i still don't have any friends here. i try my best to spend time in public places and people watch, i know my crowd and i'm so lonely i feel pretty comfortable talking to strangers, but i havent yet gone to a rager/date/trip to the park/bake sale/hike/passion party since my arrival. i'm waiting for school to start to have common ground with people and hopefully come september, if nothing else, i'll gain the social interaction i hunger for.

i'm still not even completely set-up here, i have a ton of pictures that still need hanging and thats fine by me, i'd rather be totally sure about where i want these puppy/kitten portraits and paint-by-numbers than deal with what i did at my last place, which was covering up holes in the walls with pictures, which took aesthetic priority over the actual position of the wall decor.

i don't have my sewing supplies here at the moment, which kills me..i have resorted to safety pinning things when i need to, and also i don't have an iron/ironing board (though i do have a steamer) so i couldn't press seams or anything even if i wanted to..but my job's dress code has presented me with several new wardrobe dilemmas which would be so easily remedied by a few basic pieces that i could whip up in a minute, like a black, basic dirndl and a seersucker or gingham shirt. i am not allowed to wear shorts so a lot of my basic bottoms are out of the question.

and now, for something completely different: