my dreams always end catastrophically. the night before last's dream was all about bryan and i and the rest of my family shopping in an indoor swapmeet, inside of a big,heavy cement building. the building started to collapse, and i think i escaped with my dad. in last night's dream i was walking down the sidewalk and a giant semi drove by. it went on around the corner and around the whole block, then a part of the trailer it was dragging behind it fell and crashed into a trailer park and the rest went into the sand. i didnt really care when it was happening though.


im not going to take the bus home today. ive got to pick up my mom's girlscout cookies. so im here for the rest of the day with nothing to do. im going to switch highschools i think. this place is rotten. i dont want to take the bus anyore, ever. ever in my entire life. i dont want to think of all of the hours and hours, probably weeks spent in the bus. it sint even good for meeting people. i was reading someone say that they intentionally sit next to the wierdest person on the bus so that they have stories to tell their friends. i wondered if i actually enjoyed riding the bus a little bit, for the stories or because it gives me someone to be angry at or if it allows me to be around people or provides me with a place to be noticed. all of them rang a little bit true, but only for a few minutes. it stops mattering when youre on the bus then the coaster for an hour and a half. the worst part about it is that its not really time you can spend relaxing or hanging out by yourself, because the whole time youre thinking about waiting. and the creeps.

i dont feel very great today, like all of the adrenaline and backup endorphins have been depleted. id rather spend the day at home recharging, but im here, in size six and a half pumps for my size ten feet (i dont know how i did it)and my toes are tingling and asleep...atleast somebodys sleeping.

this shrug is very very cool.i liked this whole video. watching her functioning sewing machine made my so jealous, i wouldnt dream of sewing anything that delicate on my chug-a-lug machine,ripping and tearing everything.


everybodys got a new haircut today!


Lailove said...

wow thats a crazy blog entry..a whole lot to swallow down..I think thats its obviously you have a lot on your mind and you're not expressing it in the right ways so it builds up and plays itself within you're dreams....you need to detox..just chill out and make a day just for you....cucumbers and a cocktail included :)

sabertooth said...

a day for me? what wild a concept.

Lailove said...

a day of pampering yourself is very easy....try it..ull feel better for it..or if u have any younger siblings?..pay em a few coins for a massage...haha