emotional piggy bank

i havent thought out today far enough, and its already halfway done-with. sometimes on the bus i wonder "what i would do if i wasnt sure where i was going right now?" but them i realize i wouldnt have gotten onto the bus if i didnt know how to. i guess i have to just trust all this piled-up knowledge ive collected through my life, it should get me through bus rides and conversations easy enough.

i really ought to be doing some math homework right now, but wont. i practically sprinted up the mile-long hill to school just to get into a warm classroom, but it really wasnt worth it, it so air-conditioned in here that i might as well be stuck outside in the blustery wind. its sunny, though. a sunny windy day, i hate those. its unfair because you trick yourself ito thinking if you sit in a little sunpatch you can get warm and its not true, the wind blows the warm right off of you.

i havent done an outfit post in a while, and ive been wanting to because i feel like my outfits truly are getting better and are very satisfying to me. today i wore a navy blue blazer from mabye the late fifties with pretty indigo satin on the inside. the sleeves are a little bit short, so i rolled them up to expose the lining, which contrasted wonderfully against the blue. ive liked these all navy and black outfits ive been seeing, navy and black together used to be a bit of a taboo, but i think done well it should be wonderfully modern and rich, like a handful of dark and seductive hues all mashed together. i wore a navy pleated skirt, a grey tank top that ive found to be more useful than i thought it could ever be, and a navy belt. i wore it with my old samsonite purse, half because i had to because ive got all of these books with me, and half because it went really well with the whole outfit, and i think it couldve perhaps looked a little eighties with a smaller bag...mabye thats just my eighties blazer fear speaking.





ive been very wary of buying any blazer because most of the ones i find are from the eighties anyways, and because its hard to do it casually without coming across either too business-like or as if im mocking the formality of it, which is so juvenile and Avril Lavigne. also, its hard for me to find ones that fit me well enough, i have pretty much the bod of a 13 year old boy and for one to grab me at the waist right is a hard thing to do. ive gotten this one and a new red one i havent shown in the same weekend,though, and i like them both very much, though ive worn this one twice already and i havent worn the other one at all.

...

ive got an apple to eat and homework to do.
and ive also got to feel as terrible as i can today, im experimenting with my feelings and im thinking id rather spend a whole day hating everything than spending a week feeling bad at odd and inconvenient moments. ive got a day and a house to myself tomorrow, lets have happy thoughts for then, i think.