i have made a mistake this evening with bryan, and for probably the first time in a while i see the err of my ways instead of gladly deflecting my issues onto someone else or some previous excange of words. im remembering that im not in the right as often as i think i am, and seeing that even if i thought my brattitude was something to shrug off, the things i say mean more than what i consider and the way that theyre said mean alot,too. the way im beginning to see it may be alot more realistic than what i expected any view other than mine could be.
so now im hanging out at home and ironing out every thought like i used to do to keep my mind occupied, but tonight to save myself from the lonliness and an even more intense guilt than i would feel if i werent having conversations with myself. i dont feel much like doing anything..taking advantage of this bad time for homework and filling up the time, instead, with sewing doesnt seem right, and i dont feel the urge anyways. i went on craftzine to check on things, clicked on the "bazaar" tab, scrolled through some pages and came upon the shop "myauntdebbie" on etsy, which i love and has given me plenty motivation to get together some energy and hot glue and work out these emotions on a unsuspecting doll.
if you know me, you'd know that first elf is my most favorite current obsession, and the best part about it for me is loving it so much it makes me want to appreciate greens and blues together all over again, instead of feeling like a walking reproduction hawaiian luau rockabilly cd cover. its so awesome.
a new text message telling of tomorrow plans-running and a big favor bryan didnt need to do. praise jesus.